I have never been averse to heat, but I was a tad intimidated by Bikram yoga when I first heard about it. So when a studio opened up in my neighborhood back in New York, I decided to give it a try.
I arrived at my first class not quite sure what to expect. I told the teacher I had some pain on my right knee because I was concerned about getting into certain postures. She said this will heal you with total conviction. I got changed in the locker and entered the studio. A blast of hot air greeted me. I placed my mat in the back row and waited for the teacher to enter.
By the second posture I could barely keep my arms raised, I was having trouble breathing, and was shocked to see a pool of sweat forming my my feet. I never sweat like this in my entire life! I could barely keep up with her words and was starting to wonder if I could handle this, that maybe this yoga wasn't for me after all. I stayed with it regardless because I didn't want to admit defeat. 24 more postures to go.
I don't know how I got through it. I don't remember most of the class. At some point it was over. I lay on the mat, drained beyond anything I had ever experienced, my entire body tingling. I was starting to worry I had incurred some nerve damage. My mind was at a loss to compare my state to anything I had felt before.
I came home and immediately headed for bed. I had a massive headache from dehydration and I felt like crap. I pretty much stayed in bed the whole day. It's recommended you go back within 24 hours. There was no way in hell I could do that. I went back 2 days later and tried again. This time more hydrated and better prepared. Bikram challenged me in a new way, and that had its own lure.
It's been two years and the practice hasn't really gotten any easier. I don't remember when my knee stopped hurting, and one day I realized months had gone by and I had not taken a puff from my inhaler. The asthma isn't cured, but it's definitely the best it's ever been. The changes have been way beyond the physical. And the challenge is different now. It's not about the posture anymore, it's about learning my own body. The posture is the guide.
