Cobra details

After 3 years I feel I am finally getting Cobra right. Keeping the legs and tail tight through the descend - why had I never done that before? Instant improvement!

Day 9

Noticeable improvement in Pranayama. Best one ever, I think. Tuned everything else out right away. Knees locked throughout the breathing exercise. Most importantly, totally aware that my knees were locked.

Drinking profusely tonight. I want to have an amazing 10th class tomorrow. On the menu, almonds, chick peas, eggs.

Day 8 of 30

Day 8 of my 30 day challenge. So far so good. I've been very conscious about hydrating and trying to eat more, specially more protein.

I've noticed during standing head to knee my core muscles are working better at holding up my leg. I used to be able to get my head to my knee last summer. I stopped being able to do that after our long tour. I've been building it back up but it's been slow in coming. I am more careful now about every step of the posture. Taking extra care to level out my hips as I kick out the leg. As a result I am able to get my elbows just barely by the calves, but not below yet.

Today was an interesting challenge. Something about the way I reacted to the new teacher... She was one of those teachers that just recite the dialogue without putting anything of herself into it. I've had those teachers before, and used the opportunity to remind myself that it's really about my practice. But I felt a rush of violent emotions. Anger, hate, urge to strike all came up to the forefront. WTF? Where is this coming from.

I did every posture with seething hatred. I didn't judge myself though. I just let the hate and anger be. And kept on breathing, doing, hating and listening.

Class was over. I was the last to leave. It was all gone. I was fine. No remnant trace.

Day 9 tomorrow.

In Bikram's torture chamber

So my friend is in town training to be a teacher. I took a class with her recently. It ranked up there with one of the hardest classes I've ever taken, in many ways similar to my first class 2 years ago.

Classes are held in this enormous hotel conference room transformed into a studio. I was on the 7th row, not able to see myself in the mirror at all, among 400+ trainees, in a room that was at least 115 degrees, possibly more. Apparently the heating system of the hotel is erratic and it can't maintain a steady 105F and 40% humidity. The room was also heated unevenly. And as luck would have it, we were on the hotter side of the room.

Radisson hotel conference room transformed into a yoga studio

I made it through the standing series. During savasana, my head started to spin. I managed Cobra, but from Locust onward I was pretty much done. I was dizzy, nauseous, my lips were numb, I could hardly breathe.

In the back of my mind I kept hearing what the teachers tell first day students - stay in the room, take a knee, breathe. Forget the 6 count breathing, I was doing 2 count in and 2 count out, trying to focus on each breath. This one breath, now, and not the 25 minutes still left in class. I didn't want to have to leave the room.

My friend had brought in some ice and she leaned it against my arm. I grabbed it and put it under my neck. One more breath. Many of the trainees were sitting out and leaving the room. Then came Camel. I tried but was immediately on my back again.

At some point the class was over. I was able to do the last breathing exercise somehow. My body was tingling. Last time I felt like this was during my first class. I laid there, utterly spent and grateful.

It was a humbling experience. Though daily practice never gets easy, you develop mental strength and focus to stay with it. That's an important part of the practice for me. This made me have more compassion toward students who end up leaving early or sitting out postures.

Teacher training is 2 classes a day for 9 weeks, lectures, anatomy classes, etc. I am considering it. In the meantime, I am going to see my friend tomorrow and take another class. Hopefully the heating systems has been fixed.

The beginning

I have never been averse to heat, but I was a tad intimidated by Bikram yoga when I first heard about it. So when a studio opened up in my neighborhood back in New York, I decided to give it a try.

I arrived at my first class not quite sure what to expect. I told the teacher I had some pain on my right knee because I was concerned about getting into certain postures. She said this will heal you with total conviction. I got changed in the locker and entered the studio. A blast of hot air greeted me. I placed my mat in the back row and waited for the teacher to enter.

By the second posture I could barely keep my arms raised, I was having trouble breathing, and was shocked to see a pool of sweat forming my my feet. I never sweat like this in my entire life! I could barely keep up with her words and was starting to wonder if I could handle this, that maybe this yoga wasn't for me after all. I stayed with it regardless because I didn't want to admit defeat. 24 more postures to go.

I don't know how I got through it. I don't remember most of the class. At some point it was over. I lay on the mat, drained beyond anything I had ever experienced, my entire body tingling. I was starting to worry I had incurred some nerve damage. My mind was at a loss to compare my state to anything I had felt before.

I came home and immediately headed for bed. I had a massive headache from dehydration and I felt like crap. I pretty much stayed in bed the whole day. It's recommended you go back within 24 hours. There was no way in hell I could do that. I went back 2 days later and tried again. This time more hydrated and better prepared. Bikram challenged me in a new way, and that had its own lure.

It's been two years and the practice hasn't really gotten any easier. I don't remember when my knee stopped hurting, and one day I realized months had gone by and I had not taken a puff from my inhaler. The asthma isn't cured, but it's definitely the best it's ever been. The changes have been way beyond the physical. And the challenge is different now. It's not about the posture anymore, it's about learning my own body. The posture is the guide.